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Types Of Marketing
!!!Types of Marketing!!!
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him." That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, and offer her A ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich..I want to marry you" That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback !!!!!
"Dad, where did I come from?"...
"Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, "I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from.""Out of courtesy,Sharks never...
"Out of courtesy,Sharks never attack lawyers."Top George Bush Slogans
# I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!
# I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time.
# I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.
# Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right?
# Vote for the GOP, Not OPP.
# I promise no sex scandal: just look at me.
# New penal plan: I won't use mine!
# Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.
# George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers
# Vote for Bush and against Common Sense.Object Oriented Way
#VALUE!$100 Bill
$100 bill
I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. "Here you go," said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. "Have a great day!"
Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am. We can't accept anything larger than a fifty," he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy.
"But you just accepted that last girl's hundred," I reasoned.
"I had to," he said. "It had her phone number on it."‘Police?’ came th...
‘Police?’ came the voice on the phone. ‘I want to report a burglar trapped in an fat maid’s bedroom!’ After ascertaining the address, the police sergeant asked who was calling. ‘This,’ cried the frantic voice, ‘is the burglar!’‘Twas the month after C...
‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The punch and the candy, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d not said, “No thank you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt— I said to myself, as I only can “You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!” So–away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished “Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick. I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore— But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!“Cash, check or charge?...
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. “Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.”No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”“Do you believe in life...
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, Sir.” the new recruit replied. “Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you“Do you think I”l...
“Do you think I”ll lose my looks as I get older?” “Yes if you’re lucky.” “Has there been any insanity in your family?” “Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he’s the boss.” I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it. Why did you hit your husband with a chair?” “I couldn’t lift the table.”“Doctor, are you sure I...
“Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.” “Don’t worry, it won’t happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only.” Submitted by unni.“Ever since we got marr...
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market,” said the man.”Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,”remarked his friend.”I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.”“How can I ever thank y...
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
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