Funny Kids Jokes - Part 11

?Now my motto in life,? said ...

?Now my motto in life,? said the school chaplain, ?is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?? ?My motto is let bygones be bygones.? ?That?s good. Why did you choose that?? ?Then I wouldn?t have to take any history classes!?

?Now, Joseph,? said the teach...

?Now, Joseph,? said the teacher to the aggressive youngster, ?what do you think your classmates would think of you if you were always kind and polite?? ?They?d think they could beat me up,? promptly responded Joseph.

?Now, that looks like a happi...

?Now, that looks like a happily married couple.? Remarks the husband. ?Don?t be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us.? Replied his wife.

?Please keep your dog beside ...

?Please keep your dog beside you, sir,? a woman said crossly to the man sitting opposite to her on the bench at the park. ?I can feel a flea in my shoe.? ?Midnight, come here,? replied the man. ?This woman has fleas.?

?Pull over the curb,? said th...

?Pull over the curb,? said the policeman. ?You don?t have a taillight.? The motorist stepped out, looked in back of the car, and stood quivering and speechless. ?Oh, it?s not that bad,? said the policeman. The man mumbled, ?It?s not the taillight I am worried about. Where are my wife and trailer??

?Sir, there?s a debt collecto...

?Sir, there?s a debt collector in the outer office.? ?Tell him he can take that pile on my desk?

?So, thundered Greg?s furious...

?So, thundered Greg?s furious father, ?you have been expelled from college, have you?? ?Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.?

?So?, thundered Larry?s furio...

?So?, thundered Larry?s furious father, ?you?ve been expelled from college, have you? ?Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.?

?Tell me,? the teacher asked ...

?Tell me,? the teacher asked her students, ?do you know what the word ?can?t? is short for?? ?Yes,? said little Lucy. ?It?s short for ?cannot.?? ?Very good. And what about ?don?t??? Little Matt?s hand shot up. ?That,? he said with authority, ?is short for ?doughnut.??

?The economy is weird.? Remar...

?The economy is weird.? Remarked one worker to another. ?My bank failed before the toaster did.?

?This little computer,? said ...

?This little computer,? said the a sales clerk, ?will do half your job for you.? The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; ?Fine, I? take two.?

?What am I supposed to do wit...

?What am I supposed to do with this?? grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation. ?Keep it,? the clerk advises. ?When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.?

?What are you learning at sch...

?What are you learning at school now, Sue? Asked her Granny. ?French, German, and we?ve just started Algebra.? ?Really?? said the old lady, impressed. ?I used to learn French and German but
I have never heard anyone speak Algebra.?

?What do you think of Red Chi...

?What do you think of Red China?? One woman asked another during a party on world affairs. ?Oh, I don?t know,? said the other woman. ?I guess it would be all right if you use it on a white tablecloth.?

?What is your occupation?? as...

?What is your occupation?? asked the judge. ?I?m a locksmith, your honor.? ?And what were you doing in the jeweler?s shop at three in the morning when the police officers entered?? ? I was making a bolt for the door!?