10 Signs That A Kid Is A Nerd
10 Signs That A Kid Is A Nerd10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents, principals, police, and authority figures.
9. Is overly enthusiastic about 'Dungeons and Dragons' and other role playing games.
8. Very familiar with megahertz, wears glasses and, can quote scripture.
7. Frequently speaks of martial arts, but still gets beaten up.
6. Says 'Whom' instead of 'Who.'
5. Is pleased when disruptive individuals are sent to the office, so that they can continue with their learning. 4. Prefers NPR to any music.
3. Gets upset when there is a test or quiz that he did not know about.
2. Rooted for Deep-Blue in the famous chess game.
1. Must be pulled off bridge when not accepted at the college of his choice.
10 things men don't say1)Let'...
10 things men don't say1)Let's watch Lifetime.2)Sex is overrated.3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.7)Dessert goes right to my hips.8)I hate when I miss Oprah.9)Does this suit make me look fat?10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.10) E-Mail flames from some g...
10) E-Mail flames from some guy named 'Fluffy.' 9) Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 8) You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip. 7) Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.feline.com/. 6) Your mouse has teeth marks in it...and a strange aroma of tuna. 5) Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of 'CyberDog.' 4) Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 3) You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II. 2) On IRC you're known as the IronMouser. 1) There are little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.10. – The world does re...
10. – The world does revolve around us… we choose the coordinate system. 9. – No “couple” enjoy a better “moment”. 8. – We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship. 7. – We have significant figures. 6. – EK301: The motion of rigid bodies. 5. – Projectile motion: Do we need to say more? 4. – Engineers do it to specification. 3. – According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite. 2. – We know it’s not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force. 1. – WE KNOW THE RIGHT HAND RULE!Indian Joint Ventures
10. A chain of "Bhaskar-RaoBins" ice cream stores all over the country,in collaboration with Baskin Robins.
9. Kraft will make "PARAMESAN CHEESE" at Madras, in collaboration with
Parameswaran & Co.
8. Kentucky Fried Chicken will open its chain of Indian version, to be named, "KARNATAKI FLY-ED CHICKEN" and will be headquartered at Bangalore.
7. Pizza Hut will open a chain, in the back alleys of all cities, its
version, to be named:"PICHHE HUT". Headquarters: Kanpur. PICHHE =
means back-alleys for the uneducated
6. McDonalds will open its fast food restaurants to be named:
"McDosalu". Hqs. Hyderabad. Main menu: Idli and Dosa.
5. Mr. Submarine will name its restaurants as "Mr. SUBRAMANI", to be
headquartered at Madras.
4. Red Carpets coloured with biodegradable (hence environmentally
friendly) red PAAN. Juice extracts will enjoy duty-free status in US.
3. Dallas Cowboys will own a new franchise: Dilli's COW-BHAIS, to teach
Indians how to play Football.... with hands.
2. Duty-free import of Ambassador cars into USA, as long as they are not
used outside of Demolition Derby.
1. Internal Revenue Service will provide technology transfer of its Tax
System software to Indian Income Tax Dept and to be named: "UNCLE SHYAM".
10. Every Tuesday he insists ...
10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.9. He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested.8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop".5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat.4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers.3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids.2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel.1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!10. I stopped caring about an...
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let’s celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don’t like what I pick out, so I thought why bother. 4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here’s a $5 gift certificate for McDonald’s. 3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will. 2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I’ll take you to Pizza Hut if it’ll shut ya up. 1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.10. It doesn’t take min...
10. It doesn’t take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels. 9. When was the last time you tuned in to “Melrose Place” and got a “Error 404″ message? 8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV–even on MTV. 7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening. 6. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard. 5. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an “Under Construction” sign. 4. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in. 3. You just can’t find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web. 2. Set-top boxes don’t beep and whine when you hook up to HBO. 1. You can’t surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.100 Camels For Wife
100 Camels for WifeUS tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, "I'll give you 100 camels for your woman."
After a long silence, the husband says, "She's not for sale."
The indignant wife says, "What took you so long to answer?"
The husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
Waqt Hamara Hai!
12 Sardar 12 Car mein,12 baj ke 12 min 12 sec pe 12vi gali mein 12ve cinema hall mein kaunsi film dekhne gaye? Yeh waqt hamara hai....15 PIECES OF ADVICE
15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC!1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there! 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can
tell them apart. 7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. 9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for
it. 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. 14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. 15. Sadly, all men are created equal
15 things we wouldn?t know if...
15 things we wouldn?t know if it wasn?t for the movies1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. 2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. 4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down. 6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 7. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't. 8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say:
Enter Password Now. 9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit. 10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 13. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head. 14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
And last but not least
15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
16 and Pregnant.15 and Fuckin...
16 and Pregnant.15 and Fucking.14 and Sucking.13 and Licking. 12 and Fingering. 11 and Touching. 9 and Kissing. 8 and Wondering. Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...Difference Between 1960 & 2006
1960 girl : Pehla phela pyaar hai,chhai bahar hai, aaja sajna tera intezar hai.2006 girl : Dusara/tisra pyar hai,dil bekrar hai, aaja morey sajna varna chautha tayiar hai.
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