Funny Kids Jokes - Part 28

A Blonde Making Chocolate Chip Cookies

A Blonde Making Chocolate Chip Cookies
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

A blonde phoned police to rep...

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."

A blonde phoned police to rep...

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."

A blonde pick ups her dress f...

A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!"Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."

A blonde quickly went out to ...

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again. She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: “You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box.” The blonde answered, “No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail.”

A blonde returned home from w...

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime.The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning."What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"

A Blonde Sells Her Car

A Blonde Sells Her Car
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

A blonde walked into a doctor...

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?""The sucker called again!"

A blonde walked into a gas st...

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?""Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that."A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice."No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

A blonde walked into her fina...

A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous. But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin. Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her. "I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away. When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go. "Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.

A blonde walks by a travel ag...

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."

A blonde walks in the ice cre...

A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone.The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry.The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream.The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry.The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream.The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry.The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream.The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla.She says, V-A-N.He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry.She says, S-T-R-A-WHe then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate.After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate.THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU

A blonde walks into a doctor’...

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!”The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?”“No, I drove here.”

A blonde walks into a library...

A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library."So the blonde whispers, "Oh sorry! can I have a diet coke then?"

A blonde walks into a restaur...

A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt. "Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"