Funny Kids Jokes - Part 38

A clergyman walking down a co...

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. “You look hot, my son,” said the cleric. “why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand.” “No thanks,” said the young man. “My father wouldn’t like it.” “Don’t be silly,” the minister said. “Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water.” Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, “Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I’ll give him a piece of my mind!” “Well,” replied the young farmer, “he’s under the load of hay.”

Helping Ur Father

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."

A client calls to hotline of ...

A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?Of course I do - it's Facebook...

A client of a hospital where ...

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

A cocky State Highways employ...

A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."
So the old farmer went about his farm chores.
Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"

A college business professor ...

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. “And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?” the professor asked. “I don’t know,” the student said. “Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know,” said the professor. “That’s not true,” the student replied. “I never pay attention anyway!”

A college business professor ...

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked."I don't know," the student said."Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor."That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"

A college business professor ...

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.“And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?” the professor asked.“I don’t know,” the student said.“Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know,” said the professor.“That’s not true,” the student replied.“I never pay attention anyway!”

A college economics professor...

A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked."I don't know," the student said."Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor."That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"

A college freshman decided to...

A college freshman decided to try out for the football team."Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?""Of course I can run," said the freshman.He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

A college friend was going to...

A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new. "An old flame? I asked. He winked and said, "More like an unlit match."

A college graduate applies fo...

A college graduate applies for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he is given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the young man is alone, he steps into an empty hallway and opens the packet. Inside, a message reads: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."

A college physics professor w...

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out. “To save lives,” the professor responded before A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”

A college physics professor w...

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out. “To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”

A college pizza delivery boy ...

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”