A college pizza delivery boy ...
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?”“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.”“Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.”“What are you studying in school?” asked Larry.The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”A college professor walked in...
A college professor walked into a bas and said, ?Bring me a martinus.? The bartender smiled and said, ?You mean martini?? ?If I want more than one,? snapped the professor, ?I?ll order them?A college student challenged ...
A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. ?You grew up in a different world,? the student said. ?Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers?? Taking advantage of a pause in the student?s litany, the geezer said, ?You?re right. We didn?t have those things when we were young; so we invented them! What are you doing for the next generation???A college student his mother ...
A college student his mother and asked her for some money. His mother said that she would send him money and mentioned that he had left his calculus book when when he visited two weeks ago and asked if she should send it too. “Uhh, oh yeah, o.k.” Responded the student. Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package,kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, “How much did you give the boy this time? Mom replied, “I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1000.” “That’s $1020!” yelled Dad. “Are you crazy?” “Don’t worry hon,” Mum said, as she kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, “I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!”A college student said to his...
A college student said to his mother, ?I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!? ?That is very nice,? muted his mother. ?You can go upstairs and start with your room.?Cool Love Letter And A Fitting Reply
A collegian was deeply in love with a foreign girl, whom he wanted to marry, but he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go home and with the aid of a dictionary, wrote a letter of proposal to her.THIS IS WHAT HE WROTE ......
My Darling
Most worthy of your estimation, after a long consideration and much meditation, I have a strong inclination to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication, that I have passed my matriculation, no doubt without any hesitation and very little concentrated preparation. What you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the population of the present generation.
On your approbation of this application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration and commiseration, it will be an augmentation of the joy and exultation of our joint dissimulation.
Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion.
I remain, A victim of your fascination
THE GIRL REPLIES
Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,
Congaratulations for your lengthy narration, of course, full of affection, aimed at an affliction for a combination, which on examination, I find it a fine presentation of your co-operation, but your inclination to become my relation should embrace more qualification so that you may reach high position.
You have passed the matriculation examination with little concentration and preparartion. What about my graduation after much concentration and botheration? So improve your situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation, the minimum qualification for the consideration of our marriage celebration. After your education, attend the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation, undergo beautification.
Further, strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for determination of our relation:
1. Consultation with my parents before approaching for any connection. 2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of "any other" fascination, and 3. Procreation must not be your recreation.
In anticipation of solid action of continuation of proper conversation.
Unaffected by your affection
A command was given to a dog:...
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"A Common Bum
A Common BumA robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?"
"I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter.
"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."
A company is interviewing app...
A company is interviewing applicants for an accountancy position, and the three finalists have been chosen.The first one is called in, and asked, "What is two plus two?" She answers, "Four," and is asked to leave.
The second finalist is called in, and asked the same question, "What is two plus two?" He also answers, "Four," and is also asked to leave.
The third and final applicant is called in, and yet again asked, "What is two plus two?" He answers, "What do you want it to be?"
Compiler Function
A compiler's primary function is to compile, organize the compilation, and go right back to compiling. It compiles basically only those things that require to be compiled, ignoring things that should not be compiled. The main way a compiler compiles, is to compile the things to be compiled until the compilation is complete.Only in America.....
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