Dentist Jokes
A dentist?s patient was grumbling about the fee. ?Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!,? she exclaimed. ?And it?s only a minute?s work.??Well, if you wish,? the dentist said, ?I?ll take it out slowly.?
A Department Store
A department store A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"
A depressed patient went to s...
A depressed patient went to see his primary care doctor as a routine check-up. The patient always looked stressed and depressed. After the examination and review all the patient's medicine (total of 8 different medications and some of them instruct to take two and three times a day) the doctor said " you must drink a lot of fluids when taking each of these medications ?The patient was quiet and spoke softly to himself " then I don't think I have to eat anything else".A deputy police officer respo...
A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.Said the policeman, “I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini.”The giant nodded.“If I had some chains,” the deputy continued, “you could show us how strong you really are. But all I’ve got is a set of handcuffs. Why don’t you see just how quickly you can break out of them?”Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. “I can’t get out of these,” the giant growled.“Are you sure?” the deputy asked.The fellow tried again. “Nope,” he replied. “I can’t do it.”“In that case,” said the deputy, “you’re under arrest.”A descendant of Eric The Red,...
A descendant of Eric The Red, named Rudolf the Red, was arguing with his wife about the weather. His wife thought it was going to be a nice day, and he thought it was going to rain. Finally she asked him, how he was so sure. He smiled at her, and calmly said, "Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."(Rudolf the red-nosed raindeer?)
Employment!
A desi was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes.A desperate man enters a bar ...
A desperate man enters a bar and says:All the lawyers are stupid!!!From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man:Take that back!Why? Are you a lawyer?No, I’m stupid...A desperate man goes to the d...
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on.He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!!" The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the muclesof a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, thisgives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it.Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date.He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again.So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let itout. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto thetable, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table. His date staredin complete awe and said " Can you do that again". He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."A Detroit-area woman who was ...
A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial. She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"A Diamond Is Forever
A diamond is foreverA man walks into a jewelry store to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring. Looking behind the glass case, he comes across an exquisite band with a handsome-sized rock in its center.
?Excuse me sir,? the gentleman says to the salesman. ?How much is this ring??
?Ah, that's a beautiful piece,? the salesman replies. ?It goes for $10,000.?
?My God!? the man exclaimed. ?That's a lot of money!?
?Yes, but a diamond is forever.?
?Perhaps,? the gentleman replied, ?but my marriage won't last that long!?
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