A director’s wife hears that ...
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions:Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs?I don’t know.What color do her eyes have?I didn’t notice... But about dressing, how does she dress?Very fast...A dirty little boy was playin...
A dirty little boy was playing at the playground and walked up to his mother and asked, "Who am I?" The mother replied, "I don't know! Who are you?" the little boy said excitedly, "WOW! My teacher was right. She said that I was so dirty that even my own mother wouldn't recognize me."NICE ARABS
A disappointed salesman of Pepsi returns from his Middle East assignment.A friend asks, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explains, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Pepsi is virtually unknown there."
But, I had a problem....I didn't know how to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster - a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and panting ....
Second - the man is drinking our Pepsi ....
and Third - our man is now totally refreshed ....
Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
A distraught older woman is l...
A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying. Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, "I'm so old. I'm so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment." Her husband, determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, "Damn, do you have good eyesight!"A divorced billionaire was or...
A divorced billionaire was ordered by the Court to hand over a 49% share of his Corporation to his ex-wife. The Billionaire, we will call him Sam, was actively involved in acquiring properties wherever he chose. At an annual Board Meeting with his executives, the company stockholders, minus the ex-wife, were reviewing the land acquisitions during the time since Sam's divorce was finalized. They started a discussion of each property, one by one. "Fish Haven, Idaho, I see the aggression expression on that purchase", the one executive commented. Sam gave his nod of admission of its truth. The next company man made his statement, "Dog Walk, Kentucky", "Again we have an aggression expression, don't we Sam?" Sam concurred with that fact again. "Horse heads, New York," and the company man said, "Aggression Expression with DRAMATIC innuendo!" Sam was all too willing to say yes and be understood as an angry and vengeful man. The next property on the roster was Canton, Ohio. "Canton, Ohio?? asked the 4th company man, "I don't see any sign of your conveyance of your indignation, to your ex, on this property name." Sam replied, "No, this acquisition was just to say I love Chinese food."A doctor and a dentist fell i...
A doctor and a dentist fell in love with a same girl. One day, the dentist had to go abroad for one week to fulfill his work, so he gave the girl seven apples and asked her to eat one apple everyday.Know why? An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
A doctor and a lawyer were ta...
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?""I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.Doctor And Lawyer
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?""I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer
A doctor asks a patient while...
A doctor asks a patient while examining her:How many sex partners did you have?5 or 6, don't remember exactly..Hmm, not that many...Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.A Doctor at a health conferen...
A Doctor at a health conference said ?The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be destructive, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?? After several seconds of silence, a 70-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ?Wedding Cake.?A doctor broke the bad news t...
A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. ?I?m afraid her mind?s completely gone,? he said. ?Makes sense,? mumbled the man. ?She?s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.?A doctor calls his patient an...
A doctor calls his patient and says; the check you gave me for my bill came back. The patient replied: So did my arthritis!A doctor examined a woman, to...
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, ?I don?t like the looks of your wife at all,? ?Me neither doc,? said the husband. ?But she?s a great cook and really good with the kids.?A doctor examining a woman wh...
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all.?"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."
0 comments:
Post a Comment