INDIAN BRAIN IN NEW YORK ?????
An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything is checked out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are little
puzzled." While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Indian replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks just for 15 bucks?"
As seen on a car bumper:...
As seen on a car bumper: ?Driver does not carry cash. He is married?
Licence In Bihar !!!
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM ------------------------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no (Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no (Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_)Dot no (Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed (Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_)Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color (Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
Regards Rabri Laloo Yadav
BEST SMS OF THE YEAR
First Best: Arguing with a girl is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying.
Second Best: How amazing!! - A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 years, but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins.
Third Best: Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to college to catch them before this happens.
For weeks, a six-year ol...
For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the
Mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child.
The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever
has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
Friendship between women...
Friendship between women: A woman doesn?t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
Friendship between men: A man doesn?t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend?s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
His pediatrician asked s...
His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation. Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?? ?A box of Tampax,? he replied without hesitation. ?Tampax?? said the doctor. ?What would you do with that?? ?Well,? said Johnny, ?I do not know exactly, but it?s sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.?
Lifeboy
main yaha Tu waha
jindigi hai kaha
but
LIFEBOY hai jaha tandrusti hai waha.. Chalo naha ke fresh ho jao . Gud mrg.
The Extraction
One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging $20."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Hm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "If I let one of my students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $10."
"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"
Math Books
Q: Why is the math book always upset?
A: Because it has a lot of problems.
Sitting on the side of t...
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? "Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour! "The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks. Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
A Quick Spelling Test
The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and asked who could spell it. George raised his hand and he spelled out, "d-i-k-t-a-t-e." The teacher said, "sorry that's wrong" Then she asked Stephen. Stephen slowly spelled out, "d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e." "Sorry" says the teacher, "that's not right either." Next, she asked Fiona After a slight pause Fiona began spelling, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e." "Very good Fiona," applauded the teacher, "that's correct. Now," the teacher continued, "who can use this word in a sentence?" Stephen raised his hand quick as a flash shouting, "I know-Iknow," "OK" replied the teacher, "please use the word Stephen." Stephen responded, "How did my dictate last night, Fiona?"
This Antarctican family ...
This Antarctican family decided to color eggs for Easter. They agreed to dye them all white.
This guy was serving a l...
This guy was serving a life sentence in solitary and he was about to go out of his mind, so one day he saw this little ant crawling across the floor. He thought I got the rest of my life, so I could train this little ant, at the same time give me something to do and relieve the stress. So he started teaching the little ant. Many years went by and with the help of courses and lessons he had got in the mail he taught the little ant all about law. The little ant got so good at his new trade that he got the man freed. When the papers heard his story they went wild. When he left the prison a bunch of scientist met him at the gate. He carried the little ant in a match box in his shirt pocket. He showed him to the scientist. They offered him thousands of dollars for the little ant, to use in their research. But he refused them saying ?this little ant and I have been together for so long I could not part with him, it was he that got me out of prison" So they started on their way. "What would you like to do?" asked the man. ?I would like to go to a bar like you told me so much about" answered the little ant. So off they went to find a bar. In the bar the man started drinking and would give the little ant a drop from time to time. So feeling good he started pestering the bartender. "Do you know who I am?" he asked the bartender, ?No, I don't" said the bartender" "I'm the man the papers have been writing so much about." "Still don't know you" said the bartender and off he went. So he took the little ant out of the box and sat him on the bar. Calling the bartender over he said "You see that little ant there on the bar?? ?I sure do," and with his thumb the bartender squashed the little and said "How the hell he got in here, I just exterminated the place yesterday!
This is a true story. ...
This is a true story.
On a crowded Saturday morning I was walking toward a large grocery store. I saw two men fighting over the last grocery cart. Each one was holding on to it, jerking it away from the other. You?ve heard of road rage and now cart rage! What is the world coming to? I got closer to the store; I still could not hear what the men were saying to each other. Must have been mean. I wondered what I should do. Talk to the store manager? What should I say to these men? Cart rage! Impatience! I got closer yet to the store. This fight looks serious. Can?t they wait for a customer to leave? The cart rage goes on! Neither one yielding to the other. I?m finally close enough to hear the two men. Oh! No! One last jerk and the two men broke the cart in half. Now what? Then I hear one man say to the other: ?Thanks for helping me separate these two carts.?
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